Strange Things About HGTV Stars Ben And Erin Napier's Marriage

Ben Napier and Erin Napier made a name for themselves on HGTV's "Home Town," where their relationship is as central to the show as their renovating and home repairs. The couple have been married since 2008, and met in college in 2004 where they had a whirlwind courtship. "December 9, we went on our first date and he met my mama," Erin wrote in a touching Instagram post in December 2019 that recapped their early days together. "December 13, we decided we would get married someday. It sounds crazy to you, maybe. But it makes perfect sense to me," she added. Over the years they have maintained that energy, but a look inside Ben and Erin Napier's marriage reveals some strange details, such as how they rarely spend time apart.

"We're together 24 hours a day because we feel like the strongest team that way," Erin told Quolture in March 2018. Ben admitted that their approach to being married was unorthodox. "We have a weird relationship ... The more time we spend together, the happier we are," he said. That was a decade after walking down the aisle, and the Napiers still haven't stopped being attached at the hip.

In April 2023, the couple spoke about their co-dependent approach. "We're never apart," Erin told Entertainment Tonight. "This is the only way we know how to be grownups," she added. There are also special things that Ben and Erin Napier do for each other every day.

Ben Napier constantly leaves notes for Erin

When they do have a rare moment apart, Erin and Ben Napier are still entirely focused on the other. Erin makes sure that her husband's coffee is ready even though he wakes up before she does. Meanwhile, Ben has spent years acting like a Nicholas Spark character by writing love note to his wife every single morning. "It's a short one, but it's a letter," Erin told People in April 2020. Ben explained his reasoning behind the daily notes. "Erin is my dream girl. Why would I not continue to court her and win her over every day?" he said. A couple years later, in December 2023, Ben was still writing letters. "I want to win her over that day," he explained to USA Today.

Erin has given fans glimpses of the short love letters by posting them to Instagram. While pregnant with their second child in April 2021, Erin shared one of Ben's notes after they finished filming Season 5 of their hit HGTV show. "I don't know how long God wants us to do this ... I love you and hope we always get to work together," Ben wrote. Erin posted another note in September 2023, and a fan asked if she collected the daily letters. "[B]oxes and boxes of them," Erin replied.

Long before receiving the notes, Erin knew she wanted to be with Ben.

Erin Napier was dating a Ben lookalike in college

In December 2023, Erin Napier shared heartwarming details about the day she met Ben Napier. Erin posted one of her husband's daily notes to Instagram, and explained in the post how she had a huge crush on Ben in college before they had even met. "I was sort of dating a guy I worked with at the hospital pharmacy ... And I was dating him because he looked a little bit like Ben Napier, this guy I had a crush on," Erin detailed in the post.

Erin may have already had eyes for Ben, but he was also instantly smitten once they got to know each other. He detailed his feelings in a handwritten note that Erin uploaded to Instagram on the anniversary of the couple's first meeting. "My friends wanted to go down to New Orleans, but I wanted to see you," Ben wrote. "That's when I knew this was different."

The same month as that heart-touching post, the "Home Town: Takeover" hosts explained the repercussions of their courtship when speaking to USA Today. "I told her that I was in love with her, and I wanted to marry her," Ben recalled telling Erin after only knowing her for five days. Erin, who had already been dating a Ben facsimile, did not take much convincing. "I had been in love with Ben for a solid year before he ever spoke to me," she added. The couple went on to share everything with each other.

Ben and Erin have to tell each other everything

Fans have been envious of Ben and Erin Napier's seemingly idyllic marriage, and the couple have not been shy about sharing the keys to their relationship. One of those keys is honesty. "We are in perfect conversation with each other — we communicate about every little detail of our lives," Ben told Qolture in March 2018. "Talking about everything and prayer are the glue in our marriage," he added.

Communication may seem to be an obvious part of any functional relationship, but the HGTV stars take it to an extreme. "We're just very, very good about telling each other every single detail of every single thing that's happening in each other's life [that is] separate from each other," Erin told Us Weekly in September 2023. According to the Napiers, this approach helped them avoid building animosity. "If you have all the information, there is less to argue about and less to fight about," Erin added. If you ask Ben, the couple have no choice in the matter but to communicate with the utmost honesty at all times. "We try to keep secrets, but we can't," he told USA Today in December 2023. "I can't keep anything from her. She can't keep anything from me," Ben added.

They might have issues keeping information from one another, but Ben and Erin have done a great job of keeping private information about their children out of the public eye.

Ben and Erin banned their kids from social media

With the success of "Home Town," Ben and Erin Napier had to reevaluate what they share on social media. The couple have no issues giving insights into their marriage, but they draw the line at their children's privacy. "The worst part of fame is finding ways to keep Helen [their first born] protected from it," Ben told Atlanta magazine in October 2020. "[W]e also have to remember Helen didn't sign up for this," he added.

As usual, the Napiers were in agreement on limiting the info they shared about their kids online. "How would I feel about it, if I went back in time and saw my mom posted all of this stuff for the world to see?" Erin said while appearing on "Today" with her husband in April 2023. In fact, the HGTV hosts believe in shielding their kids from social media as much as possible. "Our personal policy is we're not going to let our kids have any access to social media until they're done with high school," Erin said.

Their rules on social media may seem strict, but the Napiers are familiar with how invasive some fans could be. According to Amanda Roll, tourism director for Laurel — where the couple live and work — it is common for people to ask where the Napiers home is located. "They just feel like they know Ben and Erin," Roll told Atlanta magazine. One tidbit the couple has gladly shared, however, is Erin's pet name for Ben.

Ben goes by a nickname Erin gave him

Ben and Erin Napier have a lot in common, but one major difference between the pair is their height. Ben stands at 6 foot 6 inches, and Erin is a modest 5 foot 5 inches. Erin affectionately calls her husband "Big," but it's not just because of their height difference. As she detailed in a touching Instagram post celebrating her birthday in April 2017, "He built a cedar caddy for my fancy new almost-here bathtub and has started the new coffee table with hand-turned legs we've been wanting for years." Erin added that Ben also prepared the perfect low-key meal that included her favorites. "This is really why we call him Big. It's his heart."

Erin often refers to her husband by the three-letter moniker when she shares the notes he has written. "Every morning, there's a note waiting from Big on my nightstand with my morning caffeine and I save them all," she wrote in an Instagram post from April 2021.

Ben also refers to himself as "Big" in his daily notes. "Thanks for being the light at the end of a long day. I love you. You are my joy," he wrote in a note Erin posted to Instagram in September 2023 before signing it with his nickname.